Breaking Dawn - Part One

*Spoiler alert*

   I used to LOVE the books (i've read them - and listened to them about 5 times each), and i did endure all of the films, except for this one. I didn't like the fourth book, i think it's stupid - and that's saying something seeing as we're talking about vampires and werewolves. So i didn't pay ten pounds to go and see it, but i did rent it out of the library today...

For those of you who have been hiding in a big dark hole, the film starts at Bella and Edward's wedding - human and vampire, just to clarify. From here, we are led to the "saucy" and long awaited honeymoon, where after two weeks Bella discovers she's pregnant (about 5 months so). Everyone is in turmoil about this very fast growing baby that is sucking the life out of Bella, especially the wolves, who basically want to kill her, and Edward who is wrought with the fact that Bella will probably die if she has this baby (and she is insisting she does).

Like I said, stupid.

It has to be said, it was a lot better than i thought it was going to be. It was very true to the (first half) of the novel, and did it's best with the absurdity's. The wedding (without doubt the most enjoyable part of the book), did look beautiful and it was quite nice to have some familiar faces such as mike and jessica from many moons ago. It also has to be said that Pattinson and Stewart are much much better in this film. They're actually not bad at all. The fact that Stewart can keep a straight face in an "intimate" moment when Pattinson is breaking the furniture is actually astounding. There also needs to be brownie points given to Bill Condon who directs the film, who really does make Bella look like she's dying, and i think, dare i say it, gets the level of gore and sex scenes just about right.

However, having said all that, Taylor Lautner as Jacob, is still pretty awful. The six pack novelty has worn off, the wolves aren't very cool anymore - in fact their wolf talk in this film is just plain annoying - and at that end of the day, he's just a little boy whose not very good at acting. As expected, it also gets very slow and ploddy after the honeymoon, with not really an awful lot happening.  If you thought this had little plot, wait for the second half.

I want to end, as the film does, with the birth of Reneesmee (the half human half vampire child). The whole labour and transformation of Bella was dealt with pretty well -  as well as it could have been. Don't however, get me started on the horrendous CGI baby, and Jacobs imprinting on her - weird fascination with the baby (do not ask). It's moments like these, where all the good points about the film are lost to the lunacies of a not very well written novel.


Overall, i think ive just got bored of the whole franchise. I still commend Meyer for writing very addictive teenage prose and i do actually think there is talent in the films, hidden amongst the quite rubbish scripts - i still have a little soft spot for Pattinson. But, at the end of the day, it's films like this that make hollywood movies that little bit more trashy and reinforce the unrealistic relationships and characters that do not exist in real life. I know a lot of films do this, but if you're going to do it, at least do it well.
For it's worth as a movie 2/5
but 3/5 because it's watchable.

The muppets - mah nama na

                                                               
I've never really watched the muppets, not the movies or the tv show. It has, however always intrigued me, seeming quite up my street - singing and dancing puppets, what's not to like -  so i thought hey, lets give this new movie ago.

The idea of this movie was nurtured, written and acted by comedic actor jason segal (one of Judd apatow's protegees). Gary (Segal), his girlfriend Mary (a perfectly suited Amy Adams) and his puppet brother Walter, being huge muppet fans set out to Hollywood to see the dilapidated muppet studios. Whilst there Walter uncovers an evil plan to demolish the studios. The only way to save it is to raise 10 million pounds (in about a day) and the only way to do this, of course, is to reunite the disbanded muppets and put on a fundraising showstopping one night production.

My fear, was that with Segal taking the helm of this movie, would pollute the family friendly muppets and songs, with niggling innuendo's and a lot of adult humour (much like the quite hilarious, but highly inapropriate avenue q). Although this isn't necessary a bad thing, I wanted to see a wholesome, fun, kids movie that didn't need to have sexual connotations in it in order to be appealing to all kinds of audiences. Thankfully this is what we have. Segal and Adams are vibrant and sweet (almost sickly, but not quite) as Mary and Gary, blending quite well into a film which is undoubtedly taken over by the charming muppets. With the same puppeteers to the characters as there always has been, the scenes and songs of the muppets are the ones that thrive the most. It is just pure, family friendly, goofy fun.

It isn't, however without flaws. There are slow moments, where i can imagine some children (and adults) would get fidgety and a bit bored, and there are a few songs that are a tiny bit too cringeworthy  - i.e, me party - where Adams even looks slightly uncomfortable singing it. Also, I am always a fan of celebrity cameos, they often add an unexpected chuckle. However, this movie has more cameos than you can shake a stick at. Some work, like Alan Arkin, Zach Galifianakis and Dave Grohl (ah-mazing), and some really don't, like whoopee goldbherg and Selena Gomez (oh dear).

   At the end of the day, I went into the movie expecting fun. I got fun, I got a generally awesome soundtrack, and i got a happy uplifted feeling when i left the cinema. I couldn't ask for much more on a tuesday afternoon.
3.5 / 5